Last week, I decided the best chance I had of getting a job was to become a bartender and to do that, I needed to go to bartending school. So I enrolled in a week long course at Australia School for Bartending and set out on a journey that most would say was not very fitting. Some of you would say, "but Marko, you don't know anything about cocktails and mixed drinks, and you know less about beers and wines". Well, I would tip my hat in agreement to you...if i wore hats. Even worse, Melbourne refers to itself as the espresso capitol of the world...and that's bad news for a guy that doesn't like coffee but wants to serve drinks professionally.
Yeah so against all better judgement, I took the course and it was very entertaining and interesting and a little difficult. Australia is not only a different country, with different accents, and kangaroos...but they drink weird sh!t too. For example, they call sprite or 7up "Lemonade". And if you want real lemonade you have call it "lemonata", except at some bars, who actually serve "Lemonata", which is a carbonated lemon drink that is more sour than 7up. Maybe this is just my lack of awareness, but I never really knew there was a difference between, soda water, tonic water, and sparkling mineral water....and this is a little offensive to the aussies. The other thing i had to get used to, is they like their drinks bitter, i.e. no lemon drops! The aussies most common chick drink, which is normally the type of drink I reach for, is called a "Lemon Lime and Bitters". To describe this drink, imagine working at a snow cone shop and drinking straight from the lemon syrup bottle...but with a bitter after taste. It is made by filling a glass mostly with 7up/lemonade, then add some lime cordial and top if off with a few squirts of Angostura Bitters. Angostura Bitters is like concentrated horse sh!t and has 44% alcohol.
I met some interesting people at the school. One guy told a lot of grandiose stories and had no teeth. i.e. he had a mugger holding him from behind with a knife to his throat, the mugger said give me your money, he said no, the mugger said or else, he said make your move, and then next thing i could understand through his heavy accent was the mugger was face down on the ground pinned. I believe it. Another girl who was training to be a bartender had some interesting limits like a strict bed time of 8pm and didn't want to work at a restaurant that wasn't vegan. Good luck! Another guy had rasta hair, emo pants, cowboy boots wrapped with a pink bow, and an abercrombie shirt. He bragged about being in a band, but when asked further revealed he hadn't been in a band since he was 15. He likes his girlfriend because she works at a sex shop and has matching undergarments, and because she also dated the drummer from motley crue and some guy from another band I hadn't heard of. Glorious.
Anyway, so i graduated and set out door to door to find a job, handing out my resume all over the city to various establishments rubbish bins. Apparently my VISA and my coffee skills (which weren't part of the school) weren't too attractive. But I kept pressing on. Finally, one day after only an hour of going door to door in the Italian neighborhood, I found a restaurant called Donnini's and an opportunity. I went in a met the manager, a guy named Ricardo...he had a nice white shirt on, but no it wasn't a man blouse with man hair coming from 3 buttons down. There was no gold chain, no mustache, and no greasy hair. He offered me a trial shift the next day and said he would teach me how to make coffee if i got the job. So I spent the rest of the day on Youtube watching espresso tutorials and Flight of the Conchord videos (not job applicable but worthwhile). To make a long story a little shorter, i got the job. The Donnini family has had many generations owning and working this restaurant and it is very successful. It's serves really good italian food and also is a halfway sponsor for the Carlton AFL team....which is a little exciting for me to meet some of them. My duties are to be the bartender for the entire restaurant, but customers don't order directly from me, and I don't have to handle cash. So this is a great first job and seems to be a very healthy environment to learn.
I've worked a few shifts now and seem to be enjoying it. I make a good coffee but I haven't learned how to make the latte art yet. I will though. Theresa and Christina came in for a meal last night and they drunked my drinks. So a new career begins, life can get rolling, and in the meantime I will keep looking for a higher paying job in my education range. Now that I have a job though, it's time to start doing what I do best, and plan a vacation!
